Thank You for the ‘Happiest’ Year of My Life!

Ramatu Ada Ochekliye. Image taken by Cynthia Umeh.

2023 was a lot! Phewwww! I credit this year as one of the most tasking years in my life: physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I was stretched!

That said, I am in the phase of my life where I am deliberately documenting the things I am doing. Over the years, I have constantly underplayed how much I do and achieve, but dwell on how much I didn’t achieve or failed at. So when I started this year, I told myself I was going to be more emphatic about telling all shades of my life’s journey: good, bad, or ugly.

For what would be the first time ever (I think), I am doing my year, wrapped.

January

1. I told myself I wanted to be happy in my birth month. I wanted to go out more: and I did. I even traveled for a wedding. I spent a lot of my time laughing, enjoying the scenes and ‘being outside’.
2. I also made the lifetime decision to loc my hair. This decision was nearly five years in the making. I knew that if I went through with it, I would have to see it through for the rest of my life. Eventually, I chucked all fear aside and did it. Can you believe it is almost one year since I made the decision? I may talk about it in a separate post.
3. For Shades of Us, my life’s work, we recorded our first episode of our ‘People Like Us’ documentary…even though we never edited it. We lost some audio in the process of recording and I felt some type of way going back to our guest to re-record the documentary. The perfectionist in me just couldn’t fathom looking incompetent. (This is something we should change, Ramatu Ada Ochekliye.)

February

1. For my birthday in January, I got the very amazing gift of a bicycle. I had always wanted one and was planning to learn how to ride. The last time I had a bicycle, I was probably four or five. I never properly learned how to ride and I really wanted to. So in February, I started learning how to ride a bicycle. I can assure you that I didn’t ride the bicycle again until the end of the year. 2023 happened!
2. Our first major event of the year happened in February. Shades of Us attended and documented the Walk and Run World Cancer Day event hosted by the Women in ICT Foundation to mark World Cancer Day to create awareness about early detection of cancer, signs, symptoms and strategies to improve cancer detection among other things. We took amazing pictures of the event and shared our thoughts here.
3. Shades of Us also attended Jela’s Development Initiatives (JDI) launch of their J Blood Match App, an artificial intelligence application that connects voluntary blood donors to recipients using their blood type and location. Shades of Us believes that the launch of the J Blood Match is a crucial step to addressing some of the problems associated with blood donations in Nigeria: especially during surgeries and emergencies. We urge the government to adopt this application and technology funders to scale up the technology to everyone across the thirty six states and 774 local governments of Nigeria.

March

1. March is always a big month for me because of International Women’s Day. At my office, with Shades of Us, and from my personal pages, the commemoration of Women’s Day is always filled with pump and energy. At work, I facilitate all the communication for women’s day, including a Twitter (X) space focused on how Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria works to improve the lives of women. With Shades of Us, the team shared their thoughts on various issues affecting women: equity in unity, access, policy implementation, for marginalized women, to break barriers, and against economic constraints.
2. Still on Women’s Day — or more appropriately, women’s month — we attended the Purple Ball hosted by Strong Enough Girls’​ Empowerment Initiative (SEGEI) and Stephanie Apel. The event brought women together to celebrate themselves and their achievements and also provide mentorship for each other.
3. In recognition of the pressing challenges around maternal health and mortality, Nigeria Health Watch organized the second edition of the Celebrating Womanhood Art Gala, focused on ‘Elevating Women’s Voices for Quality Maternal Health Care’. The gala aimed to raise awareness of maternal health issues among stakeholders beyond the health sector, encouraging guests to engage with art, participate, and begin finding solutions to Nigeria’s maternal health challenges. And Shades of Us was especially glad to be part of this.
4. The final major event we were a part of was the Brunch and Rejuvenate event with the Sunshine Series. It was a relaxing event for founders and leaders that are women, and I was pumped to meet other women who are doing such amazing work in their fields: tech, business, agriculture, development, communication, etc. It was a much-needed reminder that women are doing so much and deserve all of our flowers. This birthed in me the desire to be present and be in the moment. Work will always be work. However, I owe it to myself to rest.

April

The first quarter was a lot but I didn’t know that the rest of the year was going to be even more. I was glad that I went out a lot in this quarter because my social life became nearly non-existent. But I digress.

The major thing I did this month was facilitate a social media and infodermic management capacity building workshop for the Nigeria Center for Disease Control and Prevention (NCDC) through Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria. I worked with key officers in the NCDC on the training manual, curriculum, and the delivery of the training. This training would then be stepped down to 22 States, two of which I attended and facilitated sessions at.

May

1. In May, we started documenting the Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria Women Empowerment Group (WEG) approach in Federal Capital Territory (FCT). This approach seeks to improve women’s agency and health by providing small clusters — 15 to 25 women in each group — with information about their health, nutrition, savings, and spousal communication so they are healthier and can make better decisions about their lives, family and economy. This is one of my favorite elements of my work and I went over and beyond to garner the stories for this.
2. It was not surprising that I sprained my knee as a result of this work. I had been lugging filming gear — cameras, tripod, audio equipment, and computers — all by myself. Goodness! It was such hard work! The extra weight from lugging three bags at a time was too much for my knee. And for the first time ever, I needed to use braces for my knee. It is funny that in all the years I was a sports girl, I never needed any braces. I guess we are getting old(er).
3. Knee pain aside, we were informed by the Idimma Health Initiative about a second season of the Strong Voices radio drama. In 2022, Shades of Us partnered with the Idimma Health Initiative to develop six episodes of Strong Voices, a radio drama which followed the lives of six people dealing with mental health issues (depression and post traumatic stress disorder) after facing various kinds of trauma. These radio drama episodes aired on Kiss FM 99.9 and Kapital FM 92.9, reaching 167,000 people in the FCT. So…we were excited to partner with them again for a second season of the radio drama. We held the script development workshop in May, developed eight episodes in English and Hausa for the second season that was also aired on Kapital FM 99.9 and Rahma FM 104.1 in the FCT in November. These radio dramas have been repurposed as a podcast on Spotify.
4. As mentioned above, I was in Cross River State to step down the social media and infodermic management capacity building workshop for participants from the State Ministry of Health, Orientation Agency, Primary Health Care Development Agency, media organizations, etc.

June

By June, I started to feel the first pangs of anxiety and burnout. I had a 9–5 job that I spent an average of 12–15 hours daily on. In my ‘free time’, I was overseeing ten volunteers on Shades of Us and when I brought in people, I didn’t realize just how much managing people would stress my entire being. This is the aspect of leadership that I do not relish at all. But it was a learning process for me. While I like to be behind the scenes, people management is a skill that I needed to build as I advanced in my career.

And then, there were personal goals I set for myself. I wanted to work out regularly as I was living a very sedentary life: at least 70% of my work was at my desk. I also wanted to go back to school for a Masters in Development Communication, and if you have ever applied for any post graduate studies, you know that the application process, especially if you are looking for a scholarship, can be extremely tedious.

My health also deteriorated. I fell ill more frequently in 2023 than I did in all the years I had been alive before this year. I was not surprised: I was working nearly 18 hours each day and sleeping for 4–5 hours. Yet, it never felt like I was clearing my task lists. Sometimes, I would have as much as 73 tasks to deliver on and I felt I was in the real definition of a rat race.

I was overwhelmed.

But I needed to forge ahead. And so, I did.

1. Thankfully, I had a team that was pushing through, even though I had less and less time for them. My team at Shades of Us attended the Nigeria Health Watch Solution Journalism Africa Initiative Close-out event that showed how shifting the narrative from problem-focused reporting to Solutions Journalism can make a tangible difference in our communities, promote positive change, and amplify the voices of those creating innovative solutions.
2. And for the first time in my life, I spent one whole month living in hotels. I was in Bauchi State to document the WEG approach in multiple local government areas. After two weeks of doing this, I also had to document the Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria Community ACTION for Social and Behavior Change (CA4SBC) training for ward development committees aimed at fostering community ownership of our approaches around health. I facilitated the Knowledge Management sessions of the training as well. I went to so many communities in Bauchi State and I genuinely believe Bauchi State could make a lot of money from tourism if their government put their hearts into it.
3. While in Bauchi State, I still needed to document the launch of the Insecticide-Treated Nets (ITN) campaign with the government of the State. I was immensely proud to be the only woman in a sea of men documenting the event. I hope that I was the representation many women saw to know that women can (and should) do all things.

July

1. In July, we launched the Shades of Us website: finally! We started the process in December 2022 and finally got it launched in July. It is a repository of all our work: blogs, events, podcasts, vlogs, projects, our governing body and more. I am proud of this website. We are still reiterating versions of it but this is a great start for us. And it is absolutely beautiful!
2. I joined the Abuja Run Club for their annual charity half marathon: the first marathon I will ever be a part of. I did not run of course. I walked…and clocked two hours for 10K. Abysmal, I know. But I completed it, got a participation medal, and was proud of myself. I am thinking of joining the club in 2024 but…I still like to do things by myself. So, we will see.
3. This was also the month for the Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria work planning meeting. I was developing products for our showcase, documenting the event, and I managed to even do a summary video. That week nearly did me in.
4. Shades of Us and I joined the 6th Abuja Literary and Arts Festival (ALitFest) planning committee as volunteers at the start of the year and by July, we were in full online campaign mode. The theme of this year’s festival was ‘Becoming One with the Other’, and it had a line up of book readings, engaging panel discussions, captivating film screenings, an electrifying poetry slam, immersive creative writing workshops, a vibrant book fair, and a captivating art exhibition, among other exciting events!
5. Shades of Us also hosted our first Forum Friday on Gender Inequality. Forum Friday is our engagement with our curated audience on topical issues around the global goals.
6. Still on Shades of Us, we collaborated with the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), Plan International, United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) Nigeria, Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDs) and others for the Day of the African Child. Together, we created and launched the ‘ABCs of Child Rights’, a simplified version of the act. We designed the document and this was such a big achievement for us and I am especially proud of Shades of Us, especially my sister Halimatu Sadiya Ochekliye, for managing the entire process until the successful launch. Can you see the company we were with? Permit me to be informal but, bruh! This was huge!
7. This month, I also attended the National Lassa Fever After-Action Review facilitated by the NCDC. Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria joined all partners working on the Lassa Fever response in Nigeria to review how we are responding to this endemic disease, and what we can adopt, adapt, or learn from for future responses.
8. And finally for the month, I did something fun! I went to the arcade with my family: Enigma, Sadiya, Vivian, Triqz, Vicky, and baby Naya! It was one of the best times of my life this year! I needed that time to destress, find pockets of happiness, and push the anxiety to the back of my mind.

August

1. One of my siblings, Vivian, started her fashion house called House of Gwai and guess who modeled for them? Me! It was so surprising to me how into it I was but I thoroughly enjoyed getting dolled up and modeling for her business. You really should check her out and order a dress from her.
2. We got our very first grant! Out of 3,000+ applicants for the Giving Joy Grant, Shades of Us emerged one of six winners of the $500 grant for our mobile cinema project. With this grant, we will produce and screen a short film on period poverty — Flow. The timeline for this is August 2023 to February 2024. We are excited about this and can’t wait to produce and screen Flow to audiences in Nigeria’s Federal Capital Territory! Watch the announcement video here!
3. Finally, I was a panelist on the Stand With A Girl ( SWAG) panel for the 2023 International Youth Day where I shared how young people can be deliberate about their life, work, and career paths for a better future.

September

1. September was ALitFest month! Ooooh! We documented the event and screened two of our films — Report It and That Whole Area of Grey — at the festival. The film’s focus are around sexual abuse and other forms of gender-based violence and it was so well received. The ensuing conversation with the participants at the screening was fulfilling. I am not one who regularly seeks validation outside of myself, but this was so uplifting to me! At the same event, we launched our jackets, hosted our first booth as an organization, and we managed to squeeze in some team bonding events, with many of us using virtual reality for the first time in our lives!
2. Shades of Us hosted its script development workshop for our Giving Joy grant film, Flow. It was an opportunity for me to build the capacity of my team on the script development process and by the time we were done, the story that emerged is one we are proud of.
3. Every year, we join the world to #Act4SDGs, the global rallying call to promote the sustainable development goals, and urge people to take action for our collective goals.
4. Shades of Us also hosted our second Forum Friday on reducing waste and increasing energy consumption and climate action.
5. From the Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria side, we attended the 2023 Social Norms Conference by the Solina Centre for International Development and Research. I loved creating content for the event and engaging with people at the Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria booth. From the games I developed, to the written, visual and video products we displayed, we showed up and showed out! Next year, I will send in abstracts. I want to write more papers and even though I am not a fan of the research part of my work, it validates whatever information I put out: and I put out a lot.
6. And finally for September, the WEG Operational Manual was finalized and when you open the document, not only will you find my name in the list of contributors, but you will see that around 80% of the pictures were taken by me. It is not pride: I take amazing photographs and tell beautiful stories!

October

1. October was where my interest in video games was aroused. I went to the arcade with a friend and after we played basketball, I tried out my hands at video games…and loved it. I loved it so much, I nearly bought one for myself. Thankfully, my financial responsibilities reminded me that we cannot be living on the edge just because. That said, if you have video games in your house, invite me to come play. Please, I only want NBA 2K, adventures, car racing or other such games. Don’t offer me football games, abeg.
2. Moving on, Shades of Us partnered with The Sunshine Series for their 2nd Annual Mental Health Symposium to raise public awareness of mental health as a fundamental human right and encourage people to seek help. We documented the event and screened our short film on mental health and suicidal ideation, The Dumps.
3. Shades of Us also participated in an event to commemorate the International Day of the Girl Child, organized by UNESCO Regional Office Abuja in collaboration with Stand With A Girl Initiative, to create safe spaces for discussions between girls’ dads and girls, addressing challenges and prioritizing support, promote a positive narrative on comprehensive education and girls’ health and development, and raise awareness and celebrate the invaluable contributions of men and boys in uplifting and empowering women.
4. Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria supported the Food and Agriculture Organization Emergency Centre for Transboundary Animal Diseases (ECTAD) to conduct a training of trainers for veterinary and media practitioners on the One Health Risk Communication and Community Engagement (OH-RCCE) training package, and I was there to document and facilitate some sessions. The purpose of the training was to strengthen the capacity of these practitioners in applying best practices for risk communication and community engagement and in collaborating to raise awareness of risks and prevention of priority zoonotic diseases (PZDs).
5. I nearly forgot. Shades of Us joined the conversation for 2023 Future of Health Conference hosted by Nigeria Health Watch. The conference featured three panel sessions with speakers sharing experiences on how stronger partnerships with the private sector can strengthen Nigeria’s health system. The future of our health requires all of us to be on board and we were proud to be a part of the conversation.
6. And on a semi-sad note, my family — Triqx, Vicky and Naya — left the country for the new phase of their lives! I have very few friends and seeing my friends-turned-family move thousands of kilometers from me was a lot. I was heartbroken but a part of me knew we wouldn’t be apart for a long time. I am not thinking of japa (yet) but…universe, we need to make money to go see them. Abeg!

November

November was about:

1. Documenting our WEG approach in Ebonyi State. It was almost a year to the day that I was in Ebonyi again. The trip drained my soul! We spent at least four hours on the road going to the communities where we worked from. Kai! I returned to Abuja so sore. The plus side is that I met a Queen in Ebonyi who said I looked like her daughter. So, if you see me outside, call me Princess Ramatu!
2. Attending the Leadership in Strategic Communication Workshop…which absolutely has its own post because it has changed my entire outlook on life!
3. Attending the inauguration of the National One Health Steering Committee and launch of its strategic working documents. As usual, I was behind the camera documenting Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria’s contribution to systemic strengthening of national health structures.
4. Attending the Gender and Inclusion Summit and hearing how various organizations are working to improve women’s lives, rights, agency, health, and economic empowerment.
5. My picture being one of 13 winners of the 2023 Climatelinks Photo Contest!

It was a good, productive month! I loved that almost everything I did was directly centered on my work with women and girls. That is my life’s goal!

November was also a month of re-spraining my knees, feeling incredibly overwhelmed, and telling myself I need to be present for me: and that means taking care of me! I actually felt I was going to lose my mind at that point. I held my head one afternoon and kept repeating that I would not lose my mind. I desperately needed rest but it was not coming.

December

1. I started the month having fun at my friends Krys and Temi’s wedding. I danced, laughed, got dolled up, got to see my forever friend, T.S. Raphael, and generally had a good time. The only sadness was that I was in Lagos, a city I hate so much. But friends, family, and the beauty of the weekend made it all worthwhile.
2. On behalf of Shades of Us, I received a certificate of appreciation from the Abuja Literary and Arts Festival team for our role in facilitating social media communication and festival documentation for the festival. ALitFest was one of the biggest highlights of our year and we are incredibly proud to have volunteered for the festival. We raise our glasses to everyone at the Abuja Literary Society, conveners of #ALitFest. Cheers to a great partnership and we look forward to #ALitFest24!
3. We joined ALitFest at the 2023 Beeta Arts Festival cocktail for creatives. It was a beautiful evening of poetry, music, dance, networking, and celebrating the arts. I couldn’t stay till the end of the festival but look forward to the future with these kinds of festivals.
4. At Breakthrough ACTION-Nigeria, we don’t always just walk. We had a team bonding event with virtual reality, video games, lots of food, and gift giving to each other. We really went through it this year. Next year will be tasking, but we will survive.
5. I restructured Shades of Us after abandoning the organization for nearly two months because I just didn’t have the time. I picked the practical lessons from managing my organization and the lessons from the 2023 LSCW to make the hard decision to restructure the organization for better. I nearly closed everything out when I got tired and frustrated. But this is my life’s work. We trudge ahead!
6. For my last work event for the year, I facilitated a workshop for the National and State Primary Health Care Development Agencies/Boards, Federal Ministries of Environment and Agriculture, and State Ministries of Health on Social Media and Infodermic Management for Public Health Responses. It was a really good way to wrap the year that was both stressful but fulfilling. I am at my best when sharing knowledge, improving skills and building capacity. As with every workshop I facilitate, it was also a learning session for me. I have always believed that learning is a two-way street and I left the session fulfilled. We touched on key communication, social media, and infodermic management concepts for public health communication and some of my favorite moments were seeing the enthusiasm to learn about Canva and Mobile Photography and Videography.

I looked forward to my time off work after what was my most stressful year in my life but…my body finally gave out. I fell ill again and spent six days confined to my bed. I was going to rest and recalibrate, but my body forced it.

Looking back, I really did the thing! My imposter syndrome and anxiety can sometimes be crippling but this is why it is important to document all the shades of my life. Just imagine that this long post doesn’t even cover up to a third of all the things I was up to this year. There are good things that have happened to me in 2023. Bad things that have also happened to me. But guess what? It wasn’t because I wasn’t dedicated to my work, or excellent at what I do. I did the thing! I achieved a lot. I failed too.

And that is okay!

Cheers to me because in the famous words of the Prophet Beyoncé, ‘I am THAT girl!’ So, dear Lady Sky Spirit, thank you for the ‘happiest’ year of my life. I say this with some irony but also with some fulfillment. This was by far the most stressful year of my life, but it is also one of my biggest career growth and achievements, yet. It is only going to get better from this point.

I look forward to the new year with renewed hope. Lots of changes to be made, but I am excited about it! My keyword is ‘ease’, but that will require its own post on my actual new year day: my birthday.

And because I am feeling myself today, here are 12 links that show I create and tell some of the most beautifully appealing stories on the global goals.

1. Nutrition Explained: Breakthrough ACTION Nigeria’s Nutrition Intervention in Five States
2. Promoting Healthy Nutrition Behaviors Through Community Mobilization In Rural Nigeria
3. Breastfeeding for Healthier Families and Communities
4. Building Trust and Empathy: Enabling Healthcare Workers to Prepare, Respond, and Recover from Emerging Pandemic Threats and Infectious Disease Outbreaks.
5. Using Multichannel Interventions to Prevent Lassa Fever Household Deaths in Bauchi
6. People we trained in Bauchi State on our Community Action for Social and Behavior Change (CA4SBC) approach
7. Walk And Run Against Cancer: A World Cancer Day Event By Women In Ict
8. International Women’s Day (2023)
9. International Day of Education (2023)
10. Brunch and Rejuvenate with The Sunshine Series
11. Strong Voices Radio Drama
12. My baby, Shades of Us